Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The Moving Sign is up....the Tears are Flowing Freely!

A man just pulled out of our driveway and he left behind a big yellow and black sign.  It's swinging in our front yard and I'm in the house balling because the words For Sale are really hitting me right now.  This whole process has been happening so quickly and there is no other way to put it except that today I have become overwhelmed.  I have to go back to the beginning though to understand why we are here now with a sign in our front yard.....

A few months ago Jake and I began talking about his career future.  Did he plan on staying where he was at and one day become partner, would he start his own firm, or did he want to do something other than taxes?  I had been praying for some time and I really felt like there was something else that God had planned for Jake.  I also felt like it was coming soon and whatever it was that the process would be super easy!

Jake had been talking to Justin, a headhunter, and Justin was keeping his eyes open for Jake.  One day Justin called with two potential job opportunities.  It was evident to me in the light in Jakes eyes that the oil and gas option really excited him.  He went in to take a basic accounting test, was told he wouldn't be interviewed for awhile due to vacations, but was called in right away for an interview.  I know Jake like I know the back of my hand.  He is a good man who loves people and is genuinely interested in their lives AND he is insanely smart.  I know that transcends in interviews, so I pretty much figured that he would get the job, and he would take the job.  That's exactly what happened.

Then began the talk of moving closer to Fort Worth, which is where Jake now works at Enduro.  Jake said we'll wait a year or maybe two and save up more money.  I laughed inside and decided to ask him what he thought after he started the job and did the commute for a day or two.  Remember I know Jake like I know the back of my hand.  The man used to have to commute to Dallas and it got to him more then anything I have ever seen!  Plus Jake is an amazing dad who more than anything wants to be present. This new commute has been snatching away his quality time with his girls.  So there is a sign swinging back and forth in our  front yard.  From the start I have said that I have had such a piece about this entire process.

The past few days I have been struggling though for several reasons:

I love this house and yard that we have made a home.  Yesterday Kylie Jo and I were sitting out on our swing in the backyard.  It was quiet, there were bunnies hopping around, and neighbors congregating in the street talking.  I love that and as we begin the search for our next home I just am scared that we won't find this again!

I love our neighbors.  This is our very first house and I think we struck the jack pot.  There have been times of trouble and celebration in our neighborhood and when those times come everyone bands together to help out.  They have taught me how to be a neighbor and have showed me what it looks like to love and I am praying that in our next neighborhood this will ring true but scared that it won't!

We thought we were going to move to Aledo.  It is where our church is, it's closer to Ft. Worth, and it's one of the best school districts in the area.  My heart was SLAMMED on Sunday at church and now I am doubting Aledo. Is this where I want my children to grow up?  Will they think that prom dresses that are hundreds of dollars is okay and that our house is small because of the mansions all around us?    If we adopt from Africa like we are thinking that we might, will our child feel so very out of place in this area of almost no diversity?  Are we being good stewards of God's money by moving to a place that we have to pay so much more money for a house?  Are we putting our children up as idols by limiting this search to only AISD?  Does God want us in Aledo?  Does God want us in Benbrook?  Does God want us to quit wanting so much in a house or does he want to bless us with a nice house so that we can bring people in and use our house to glorify Him?  Something that I had so much peace about I am all the sudden stressing about because of that stupid sign hanging in the front lawn and the first showing today at 1:30.

If you're a pray-er please pray that in all of this we would hear God.  That he would make His plans known to us and that this process would be easy.  That our house would sale and then our new house will come on the market and we will just know that is where God wants us whether it's in Aledo or Benbrook or wherever.

If you aren't a pray-er....you should be!  Call me...we can talk!

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