Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Parenting is HARD

Our Pictures we put on facebook NEVER look like this but I think for a lot of us this is more accurately life most of the time!

I came across statement after statement in the reading of a parenting book (Desperate by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson) that shook the very foundations of my parenting world.  I started to realize that everything I am going through, all the feelings, all the hardships, all the joys, I’m not alone in them.  All of you moms out there have gone through or are going through the exact things that I am but so few of us talk about it.  Umm this just in…parenting is HARD.  It is without a shadow of a doubt the single hardest thing that I personally have ever done in my life.  

Before being a mom I had parenting wrapped up in this pretty little box with a giant bow on top.  It was perfect and I was going to be the best!  I would be up bright and early before the kids; dressed in nice clothes, makeup on, hair styled, smellin good, quiet time checked off and breakfast cooking in the pan before the kids arose.  I was always going to be happy, energetic, and ready to conquer everything that needed to get done for the day.  Then I had Kylie Jo and I wondered why someone didn't set me straight?  Why didn't someone tell me that my idea of parenthood was wrapped a little too neatly.

The lid (and bow) has since been blown off of my pretty little packaged idea of parenthood.  “Down to the deepest part of my soul is the love I have for my girls.  Every day of my life is imperfectly offered to them.  But the little years, they’re hard and oftentimes lonely.  It’s like a secret we fear sharing, just how life-altering motherhood is. And the thing is…we moms don’t need an instruction manual.  We need physical help.”

“Going at it alone is, without a doubt, one of the most common and effective strategies that Satan uses to discourage moms.  A woman alone in her home with her ideals eventually wears down and becomes a perfect target for Satan to discourage.”

“God made us for community and accountability and close friendship.  He also created family, so that no one would ever have to be alone or bear the burden of life by themselves.  Young moms were never meant to be without the advice and care of multiple women assisting them and advising them in their lives.  Yet we have become so used to living without support that we often lose perspective on how much we need intimate friendships with other women."

Titus 2: 3-5 says "Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored."

Older women out there...just so you know.....we (as a generation) are desperate for you.  You have experience and wisdom under you belt....mentor us...teach us!  Yes you can bring us a meal, Yes you can watch our kids so that we can clean or have a little alone time (what's that?), Yes you can volunteer in the church nursery so that we don't have to be the ones to do it, YES you can come over to our houses of chaos and show us how to _____!  YES you can be the woman that God has called you to be in Titus 2 (Shout out to my mom for being a Titus 2 woman in so many peoples lives and for Dad who is always standing somewhere by her side!)

“This journey of mothering is a challenging marathon of moments, hours, days, months, years, and decades.  And yet, in each moment, God has sprinkled across our paths beauty, love, and joy.  Don’t neglect to see the beauty of the life around you while being over-whelmed by the duties of life.”

Wow can I just "say" that one more time...."Don’t neglect to see the beauty of the life around you while being over-whelmed by the duties of life.”  Sometimes someone says something in such a way that it reaches down to the deepest parts of your soul and changes you, and that is just what that sentence has done for me.  In my winter rut I was getting so bogged down by the mundane ins and outs of life that I was missing the beauty, love, and joy that is plastered all over my days.  This week I started out not trying to be perfect because if that's my goal I will fail every time.  Instead I just looked for God in my days....and I found Him over and over again and again!


  1. soooooo much. Amen and amen :). Thank you for this blog and thanks for walking this mothering journey with me, you are an awesome example to me!

    1. ANG I love you SO MUCH too! I am SO glad that we get to parent have NO idea! Nobody like a sister to vent to and know you are not being judged!

  2. I read you every so often (friends with Seth & Ang and I see when she likes or comments on FB!) Thank you for this post! You have shared my heart! And my prayer is someday that when we are on the other side and have the experience, we are willing to mentor and help new moms of the next generation! :) Thanks again for sharing your heart!

    1. Angie thank you so much for your kind words. I totally agree with you! When our kids are old....we'll be the ones in the nursery lovin on those babies and hoppin over to deliver a meal for no reason at all except to show our love! :)