February 14, 2011
Last night when I put Kylie Jo to sleep around seven, she whimpered a little like always, and then she was silent for the rest of the night. At around 11 Jake and I crawled into our bed. As I got situated a sigh escaped from my lips. Oh, it felt so good to lie down. I pulled the covers tight around myself and an immense comfort ran through my entire body. All the aches and pains from years of living suddenly vanished. I knew if I moved even a little I wouldn’t be able to find that feeling again for the whole night so I closed my eyes and cherished the comfort.
And that is when I realized that I hadn’t popped my head in to Kylie Jo’s room and checked on her like I normally do before we go to bed. For an instant I contemplated not getting up. But I knew that I wouldn’t sleep well until I laid eyes on my baby girl who was safely bundled for the night. So I left the warm, comfortable bed, walked over the cold tiles in the kitchen, down the hall, and into the sleeping baby’s courters. As I looked over the crib tears instantly rushed to the corners of my eyes and my heart leapt from my chest.
There lying on her back, in the corner of her crib, with her arm resting on her forehead, was my pride and joy. She had her blanket in her hand and her pacifier had fallen from her mouth. Her facial features were soft and relaxed. I knew that she was as comfortable as I had been only a few moments before. I stood there for a few minutes just watching her sleep. In those moments I have never loved anyone more than I loved her. I could have stayed there all night watching her but I knew that she would be getting up soon so I walked back down the hall, through the kitchen and crawled back into bed. Jake and I talked for a few minutes before he started to drift away. I didn’t find that comfortable position again during the night but I didn’t notice or really even care. All I could think about was how blessed I was to be laying next to a man that I respect and truly love and to have a daughter a few rooms over who has stolen my heart. What a miraculous moment that God gave me on the night before my birthday.